The Tortuga Newsletter: November 2025
Spooky-Sized Successes and a Time For Thanks
Hello Tortugans, and a good morning to those passing through our shores today.
The Tortuga Society is on the cusp of completing its first 500 days as a mercantile oasis – providing relief from the artistic slop, ideological capture, and cultural rot of the wider world.
We have had a busy few months, and it’s high time we share all the wins we’ve been accumulating. To that end, we are launching a regular newsletter that highlights important milestones in our ongoing voyage.
Strap in against the turbulence of the tides & let’s take a look.
The Captain’s Log
This section provides General Updates and an Overall Summary.
As everyone remembers, our organization began as a parlor of generative plunder against our enemies. Since our portentous start, we have spent more than a year perfecting our job-stacking ambitions & credentials.
That said, in recent months, we’ve focused on bolstering our fraternal community-building offerings, including:
Finishing up our Inaugural Book Club and starting a new, exclusive Philosophy Café
Forming partnerships with external organizations, e.g., Statecraft Systems LLC
Hosting an array of special guests and debates during our stand-up calls
We look forward to seeing these efforts grow and sustain. Be sure to check our Events Calendar to stay abreast of upcoming events in November.
As the year comes to a close, we are looking to pivot back toward some of our initial aesthetics – that is to say, scouring professional opportunities that provide asymmetric leverage (a.k.a, $$$) for our members and allies.
A pirate crew is only as successful (and solvent) as the raids it carries out!
Over the next several weeks, we’ll be releasing how-to guides related to job-stacking, predictions about the rapidly transforming job and labor markets, as well as thoughtful field reports from some of our veteran job-stackers.
Now join us, with a pint of your favorite ale or spirit, as we celebrate some important milestones.
Crew Victories
This section is dedicated to Recent Tortuga Member Wins.
Have a win to share? Post it in our Telegram chat, or message one of the Captains or Admins to be featured.
Started a Substack, Bend Dexter, about a month ago, which has received good traction.
Finished writing a novel. Waiting for the design to be completed before publishing it.
Hosted the first session of the Tortuga Philosophy Café.
Just secured a second data engineering job and officially became a jobstacker!
Finished a master’s degree in data science in under 6 months.
Published his debut Substack article and received lots of engagement.
Finished his PhD in statistics two months ago.
Closed a major deal at a generative AI startup. It’s centered around a physics-based predictive analytics engine that has a variety of industrial and civil applications.
Helped two fellow Tortugans publish books while continuing to rake in sales from his own book, PANDEMONIA.
Completed some interviews for remote sales positions.
Published a dashing review of Alaric’s book, schizoposting.
Recently began his PhD in economics at George Mason University and secured the one and only Bryan Caplan as his thesis advisor!
Earned a spot in the Top 25 during the last Based Book Sale for his self-published novel, The New World.
Published his book, The Aping American, which has hit #1 new release in multiple Amazon categories!
Just signed on a new client for his AI consulting firm!
Developed steady subscriber and revenue growth on his publication over the past month, Tom Swift Academy.
Jay Stacker
Secured a J2 as a remote Business Intelligence Developer, which is basically the same role as his J1.
Stevil
Completed his fantasy novel manuscript.
Released his debut novel, The Charlatan, with PRAV Publishing.
Council Victories
This section is dedicated to Recent Tortuga Admin Wins.
Want to contribute to larger organizational efforts? Have specific questions about internal progress or highlights? Send us a message, or post a comment or question on this post.
Welcomed 5 new members into our society in October.
Gained 40 new subscribers to Tortuga Media in October, including a handful of paid subscribers.
Cemented our first-ever external partnership with Statecraft Systems, LLC
A couple of our guys have formed a crew and will be completing the Modern Minuteman campaign over the next month.
Launched our “Special Guest Stand-Up” calls to wonderful attendance & enthusiasm.
We’ll be having appearances in the near future from intellectual powerhouses, such as Dmitry; policy wizards, such as Peter Banks; and marketing geniuses, such as Marcellino D'Ambrosio.
Great Reads From The Crew
Below are listed some of the best essays from Tortuga members over the past several weeks.
The Aryan Question – Walt Bismarck
An excellent research paper combined with meta-political treatise combined with literary stream-of-consciousness from Walt on what makes Aryans a distinct peoples in world history.
The Magnificent Association of Gentleman Adventurers – Bingo Bobbins
Bingo Bobbins announced he’s organizing a D&D campaign for Substack frens. Ask him for an invite to the Discord server.
Retroculture and the Future – Tom Swift
Tom Swift argues that as “digital involution” erodes human capability and culture, new parallel societies are emerging – ranging from traditionalists like the Amish to “Retroculture” moderates and secular digital minimalists; each rejecting modern technology to preserve civilization’s vitality.
Leftism, Theory of Mind, Threat Detection, and Optimal Gambling – Dr. Monzo
Dr. Monzo makes the case that left-wing ideology stems from neurological differences: specifically smaller amygdalas and enlarged anterior cingulate cortices that impair threat detection, learning from mistakes, and genuine empathy, leading progressives to repeat failed policies out of misplaced fairness rather than rational assessment.
What Are Demons? – Dr. Krug
Krug categorizes “demons” into five types: corrupted human drives, collective thought-forms (egregores), guiding higher selves (daimons), archetypal emotional structures, and rare disembodied intelligences – arguing that while most are psychological or symbolic, the last type may represent truly malevolent, external forces best avoided.
A Trinitarian Anglo-Saxon Metaphysics – Rajeev Ram
Rajeev Ram interprets The Pillars of the Earth as an allegory for Anglo-Saxon civilization’s evolution, using Forrest Landry’s trinitarian metaphysics to show how England, like its characters, matures by integrating these forces, culminating in the cathedral as a symbol of balance and the “artist-metaphysician” as the ideal man who harmonizes all three.
There’s No Such Thing As “Vice Signalling” – Simon Laird
Simon Laird asserts that “vice signalling” is a meaningless term because people labeled that way believe they’re expressing virtue, not vice; whether defending abortion or rejecting social norms; and that dismissing opposing views as mere signaling prevents genuine moral understanding and dialogue.
How to be an Idiot – Centaur Write Satyr
A provocative, hilarious essay that traces the shifting language for intellectual disability from ancient “idiōtēs” to “neurodivergent.” Our boy CSW argues that taboo-policing just rebrands the same realities and he reclaims “idiot” in its classical sense, urging strategic withdrawal from mass democratic frenzy into a deliberate, a political private life.
to kill someday – ringleader
ringleader’s poem portrays his struggle with procrastination & mortality, resolving to surrender time itself to God – who transcends yesterday, today, and tomorrow – instead of living enslaved to the illusory essence.
The Wind Has Changed – Sirius White
Sirius White, citing recent drama around J.K. Rowling, argues that modern “cancel culture” & institutional censorship form a new digital Inquisition; one where conformity replaces truth, algorithms replace pyres, and dissent is punished as heresy. Sirius urges readers to embrace free speech even more dramatically as acts of spiritual rebellion against consensus religion.
Top 5 Traits in Men that Elicit Respect from Women – Noah Revoy
Tortuga’s wise uncle Noah Revoy’s essay argues that modern marriages fail because men & women have been taught to ignore their biological and traditional roles: men needing respect and women needing love. He then outlines five masculine traits (competence, boundaries, decisiveness, emotional stability, and leadership) that command respect, urging men to lead responsibly, provide, and act from duty rather than seek equality or approval.
Why Liberals Must Defend Gay Conversion Therapy – Person Online
Person Online’s polemical essay arguing that liberal bans on conversion therapy contradict their own principles of personal freedom & gender self-determination. He claims it’s inconsistent to allow medical or psychological transition for gender but forbid therapy aimed at changing sexuality, framing the bans as proof of cultural double standards & lingering progressive control over moral norms.
On the Inconcinnity Between Actuality and Possibility – Aion Armstrong
Tortuga’s newest member Aion Armstrong shows that feeling & knowing are most alive in a “blind point” between actuality and possibility (a posse ad esse) – shown via Las Meninas, metaphor, and eros. Aion contends, via Pascal and Scheler, that ethics is cultivating the heart to dwell productively in that tension rather than forcing rational closure.
Why Do People Hate Indians? – Walt Bismarck with Rajeev Ram
A classic Walt Right Perspectives episode with Rajeev. Together, they critique Richard Hanania’s thesis on why Indians are hated. They argue that U.S. anti-Indian friction stems less from “racism” than cultural legibility clashes –language, workplace norms, sports, religion, names, H1B & remittances – debating survey data vs. anecdata, Hindu syncretism vs. Western monotheism, caste, gender dynamics, diet, homosexuality, and diaspora politics.
Donnie Darko: In Kino Veritās – Theon Ultima with Walt Bismarck
Episode 11 of In Kino Veritās features Walt Bismarck discussing Donnie Darko (2001) as a picture of millennial anxiety. Donnie is framed as a tragic millennial archetype: sincere, rebellious, spiritually hungry, contrasting him with Gen Z’s moralism & algorithmic detachment. Themes explored include WASP moralism, fate and Nietzsche’s eternal return, schizophrenia as mythic insight, and the transformation of masculinity under post-9/11 cultural collapse.
Friends of Tortuga
Below are listed some of the best reads from friends and allies of Tortuga over the past several weeks.
The Toxic Obsession with Blonde Hair – by Meghan Bell
The Postfeminist Manifesto: Resilience, Discernment and Autonomy – by Anuradha Pandey
Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Roads – by Moritz Bierling
Which Pill, Housing Crisis Observer? – by Peter Banks and William Miller
Bay Area Art Party – by Ancient Problemz
Somehow, Hitler Returned – by Prester John Andrews
Upcoming Horizons
This section provides a glimpse of our Short-Term Roadmap.
We will be starting a Tortuga Ambassador Program. Select individuals from our crew will be given discount codes to hand to dapper picaroons they encounter on Substack (and elsewhere) who are good fits for the society. If you’ve been on the fence about joining our merry band of brothers, now may be a good time to up your reply-guy game as a way to save some cash when you eventually leap on board. More information will be available soon.
Following a successful expansion of our edifying cultural offerings, we will be returning to our roots.
More specifically, we will be releasing sundry professional-oriented articles in the coming months. Expect to learn how to: pivot with the changing economic landscape, acquire an increasingly rare bullshit job, nab your first professional position as a Zoomer, and much more.
We will also be partnering with one of our members’ companies that offers a product designed to facilitate acquisition and recall of basic software skills through spaced repetition and Anki.
We will be building out its publishing arm in the near future! Be sure to check our website in the coming weeks to purchase our members’ books—Tortugans get a special discount, obviously.
Closing Notes
The times are progressively getting harder for us sensitive young men, yet you needn’t lose heart, mates. We will navigate these shifting seas with aplomb, we will do whatever’s necessary to procure wealth & prosperity for ourselves, family, and community.
That’s the Tortugan way: no excuses, no crying; only the pursuit of excellence.
– Captain & CEO, Theon Ultima
The most important thing to do is make sure we all have fun causing a lot of offense while the world falls apart.
– Community Manager, Rajeev Ram
Without a dude giving them moral cover, fuckability is the only thing gals have offering any leverage to stand up for themselves, and the moment they lose that, they’re eternally Hillary Clinton at best.
– Founder & Captain Emeritus, Walt Bismarck
That’s all for now! Pluribus Inservimus!
— Theon, Rajeev, & Walt
Thanks for the shoutout.
I'm gonna have to join you guys.