We're in Business, Boys!
The Tortuga Society is officially on the books
Morning gents! I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving plans are shaping up nicely.
Today I’m taking a break from penning self-indulgent confessional essays and lusting after Jewesses to deliver an important update on The Tortuga Society.
When I first organized the Society back in June it was little more than a fanciful idea conceived extemporaneously in a podcast episode with my longtime mentor and executive coach. The notion was incredibly ambitious, and especially in those early days execution was everything, because fucking up or failing to deliver in even the slightest way would intolerably vindicate all the critics who branded Tortuga a LARPy get-rich-quick scheme (or even worse, a cynical grift).
But thankfully that didn’t happen, and if anything the Tortuga Society has been vastly more successful than I ever anticipated. I’m elated to report that over the past five months we’ve professionalized our operations, silenced our naysayers, and scaled into a promising startup and robust fraternal network.
As of today the Society boasts nearly a hundred dedicated members, and is at long last clearing enough revenue from membership fees and resume consultations to liberate Cap’n Walt from his own white collar bug work.
This is in large part due to the efforts of my right hand man Theon Ultima, who’s played an invaluable role in managing the Society’s day-to-day operations while I focus my energies on messaging and high-level strategy.
Together Theon and I make a phenomenal team, and it’s for this reason that I’ve decided to bring him on as an equity partner in the Tortuga Society, which as of this week is officially on the books as a legitimate taxpaying business1.
So what’s next for the Society?
Right now Theon is finalizing our tax setup and working with our attorneys to ensure Tortuga isn’t exposed to any legal risk going forward. So far everything is looking groovy, and we plan to have this side of things wrapped up by EOY.
Meanwhile I’ve been working with a number of senior Tortugans to significantly expand the resources we have on hand, as I want membership to be so obviously worth the price of admission2 that I can start advertising a lot more aggressively.
To that end we’re putting the finishing touches on a number of key projects:
AI Job Application Tool
Last week the Society reached a huge milestone when our tech lead BlackBeardII officially moved the Queen Anne’s Revenge (QAR) automated job application tool into MVP status. It is now out of beta and available to all Tortugans, and in the coming months will be released as a standalone product on our external website.
This is a huge win, as QAR will give our fellers a significant leg-up in the job hunt by substantially reducing the need for laborious manual application effort.
But I’ll let Blackbeard describe the tool in his own words:
Hey everyone,
I’m thrilled to announce the launch of Queen Anne’s Revenge (QAR), a Google Chrome extension designed to automate and streamline the job application process. Built with efficiency in mind, QAR takes the repetitive and often time-consuming task of applying to jobs and makes it faster, easier, and more effective—especially for those navigating the challenges of job stacking or applying to multiple roles across platforms.
At its core, QAR creates custom-tailored resumes for each job listing, utilizing smart logic to match skills and experience directly to the job description.
Key Features:
Automated Resume Generation: QAR uses an advanced logic system to pull relevant details and craft professional, job-specific resumes in markdown format.
Seamless Integration: Designed to work directly on job boards, QAR identifies opportunities and applies in just a few clicks.
Effortless Setup: Simply input your base details once (like name, contact info, and core skills), and QAR takes care of the rest.
Time-Saving Automation: Apply to dozens of jobs in minutes without sacrificing quality.
Currently the Society has multiple software engineers actively improving the tool, so you can also expect its capabilities to expand over time. But even in its alpha state our guys found QAR incredibly useful—it actually landed Theon Ultima the interview that produced his first J2 and ultimately doubled his income.
A huge thanks to Blackbeard for taking the initiative to program this bad boy, as well as to Rajeev Ram for his work defining requirements, debugging and testing, curating user feedback, creating documentation, and handling version control.
Experience Fabrication
There are exceedingly few privileges of birth more impactful than having an uncle who owns a business that employs (or credibly could employ) white collar workers and is willing to help you fabricate experience for potential employers. With this asset at his disposal a smart and agentic and ballsy young man can theoretically upskill himself in a matter of months (or even weeks!) and then shamelessly lie his way into a generously remunerated white collar position.
But most of us aren’t that lucky. While Jews and Indians and Borderers understand that this is obviously a favor one should extend to people in his community, normal wypipo (and especially stolid cishajnal types) generally think it’s dishonorable and will get them sent to the principal’s office. This mentality is a huge reason our guys face such an uphill battle in the modern labor market.
But have no fear! Cap’n Walt is here—and he’s fully willing to be your uncle.
Currently my faithful Zoomer intern is helping me assemble reliable and scalable infrastructure that will enable our boys to credibly fabricate experience on their CV in a manner totally imperceptible to both commercially available background checks and HR ladies desperate for any excuse to trash a white boy’s resume.
This should be fully up and running by EOY, but in the meantime the Society also has a number of members who own small tech companies and are willing to serve as interim uncles. Over the next few weeks I’ll be closely collaborating with them to pilot our ExpFab infrastructure and painstakingly Red Team our system.
External Staffing Firm
Theon and I are also finalizing our plan to create an external staffing firm (one with zero ties to Tortuga and a bunch of photos of black women on the website) to directly place your asses in lucrative high-impact corporate roles and bring in some serious shekels through placement fees.
On the supply side we’re currently well-situated, as in addition to the Society’s direct membership (who’ll always enjoy first priority) many dozens of you have joined the Tortuga Network over the past few weeks. Before long we’ll be in a superb position to place you guys into roles across a wide range of industries.
But to do that we have some work to do on the demand side, and will need to cultivate relationships with firms so we can consistently secure plum leads. To that end we’ve developed a pretty decent system just as a proof of concept, but we’re still trying to determine the right incentive structure to scale it up and out.
A lot more to come on this soon, but anyone interested in collaborating in this direction and helping us secure leads should definitely DM me or Theon Ultima.
This is where the real money will be made long term.
Member Analytics and Engagement Tracking
Over the past few weeks a huge proportion of my effort has been dedicated to poring over the data we’ve collected from our members via intake surveys.
My goal is to determine who our guys are and what they’re after—both to shape future product development / marketing efforts and to ensure we’re operating the Tortuga Society in a way that keeps our current members fully engaged.
Below are some high-level snapshots into our current composition:
In addition to these basic demographic insights, we’ve also collected more complex qualitive responses from members tracking what they’re looking for, what sort of contributions they’d like to make, and whether they’d be interested in collaborating with Tortuga leadership by spearheading new products and community initiatives.
My preferred business model is eat what you kill, and I’m always looking for ways to get my boys in on the plunder via revenue sharing / licensing agreements; that’s how QAR was integrated into our product suite and also how Theon initially took such a prominent leadership role. Right now I still have an enormous backlog of cool ideas I need to follow up with my guys about, but as I clear my plate and onboard additional resources you can expect a lot more features in these updates, and will gradually become acquainted with many more figures in my community.
In preparation for this expansion I’ve invested in a full-time secretary to help me knock out admin tasks and especially to follow up with members about their specific goals. From the very beginning I’ve tried to create accountability measures to prevent our guys falling through the cracks or losing focus, but as we’ve scaled up it’s become virtually impossible for me to keep track of everyone by myself. The secretary will make this a lot easier until we can develop a bespoke dashboard / management platform to support this effort seamlessly and at scale.
Community Initiatives
One of the efforts Theon and I have taken to keep our boys engaged is investing a lot of time and energy into facilitating more structured community initiatives.
For instance, we now have a Tortuga Standup Call twice per week—one on Tuesday evening for Amerimutts and another on Thursday afternoon for Europoors3.
These calls allow Theon and I to address the community directly over voice chat and update the group on our progress while taking suggestions from membership. More importantly, they allow our men to share their own progress with technical upskilling / networking / job hunting, or simply banter with each other about politics, culture, and current events. We’ve found that providing this forum has been hugely beneficial to our guys’ morale and engagement levels.
We’ve also started a few collaborative projects for the group—most notably an Interview Preparation Matrix that includes the most common personal / technical questions we’ve been asked by hiring managers. This is a fantastic resource to lean on if you need to review topics in a “flash card”-style format prior to your call, and literally any Tortugan no matter how junior can make a sizeable contribution to the group simply by adding his own questions to it.
Those are most of the updates for now… but there is one more thing to announce:
Intern Program
Right now I have three dedicated interns working on various tasks, but I am currently looking for three or four more to help out with other projects.
I need smart and hardworking guys with a decent amount of free time and a lot of passion for this project who don’t have stupid libtard politics.
You don’t need to have any advanced coding knowledge (though it certainly helps), but I will expect you to be very proficient with Microsoft Office etc. Experience using AI tools and decent writing skills are also huge value adds.
I can’t pay you now, but that may be possible next year. In the meantime you will get free Tortuga membership and loads of valuable experience. I’ll also personally serve as a mentor and help you with job applications etc. for the rest of my days.
If you’re interested just DM me here or email me at wb.vitalist@gmail.com.
And that’s a wrap.
I’ll leave you with a friendly reminder that anyone who wants into Tortuga has just over a month to sign up before our membership fees double.
Until then feel free to reach out to me or Theon Ultima with any questions.
Your piratical brethren look forward to welcoming you into our ranks.
Pluribus Inservimus!
Don’t bother trying to find us—everything’s been structured under a holding company filed anonymously under the most generic and boring name conceivable
Currently $250 but slated to increase to $500 as of 1/1/2025
Some of you may have noticed this is the exact opposite of Richard Spencer’s community meeting schedule—I did this very deliberately because it was funny to me and because I want to make it easy for my old frens to actualize their Faustian Spirit
TORTUGA 4 LIFE 🏴☠️🏴☠️
Outstanding!